The Games We Play

I was in a strange mood for the past few days, induced by reading melancholic books (Middlesex – hermaphrodite meets Detroit) and watching some melancholic movies (Le Concert – Russian poor musicians in Paris and Blue Valentine – Ryan Gosling, finally a real man but is going through a falling apart marriage). It made me even more contemplative about life, which was further exacerbated with the abundance of free time on my hands.

I was thinking about men-woman relationships and how it used to be easier when I was younger. You like someone, he doesn’t like you, you mop around a bit and get over it as there are plenty of other fish in the sea. Guys used to be much more romantic. They would buy flowers, write long letters (and later on e-mails) and would put a genuine effort in catching your attention. But at some point in time, things reversed. The long letters shortened themselves to that “what r u doing?” text message sent at 1am, when it’s clear that the party in stake is not playing badminton or knitting, or that the sender is expecting an answer to an altogether question. We also started playing this weird games of availability that somehow are aimed at indicating a serious intent – don’t answer on the first ring, don’t reply to texts until the next day, don’t call the girl for at least a  week after the date. And these are just the very mild forms. I can go into the way worse ones but I would maybe keep this for another time. It also seems like men became picker and started going younger and younger in their tastes (and behaviors), while women became more flexible and started accepting so many things that would have been completely unacceptable before.

When recently a nice younger guy asked for my number, I obliged, despite being quite uninterested. He called and I was busy, and then he called again and I was travelling and he sent some texts, which I ignored. I was expecting that he should be well versed in the protocol of opposite sex communications but he kept persisting. I then felt bad because I hate the above games and wanted to encourage a young soul to continue putting an effort in obtaining its potential subjects of interest. I agreed finally to meet him for lunch. He was 15 minutes late and arrived just as I was about to leave. No apology. The conversation was extremely dull as he proceeded to tell me about the recent Hulk movie he had seen and laughing about stuff that was utterly not funny. We went through several subjects and which produced similar anecdotes on his side. Not to mention he had ordered spaghetti dish and was slurping his noodles during the conversation.  Horrible. I somewhat felt motherly at some point and wanted to give the guy some advice for the future but then decided that I will reserve this glorious role for his actual mother. I felt so relieved when the hour had finished and we parted our ways. After all of this, I had expected the guy won’t bother me anymore. After all, it was clear that we had nothing in common and besides I am leaving so soon. But, no, he texted  the next day to ask for my plans for next week. Ehhh.. if it was only the right guy.

I decided to stop answering. I just couldn’t bring myself to telling the guy the honest truth. Oh, the games we play!

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3 thoughts on “The Games We Play

  1. wait…wait…guys used to be more romantic…no, no..my girly…ladies used to be MORE lady-like… it is you and your kind who are devouring the guys who would have loved you…

    I am a lover, not a fighter…yet, I am battleworthy knowing that my opponenet is a woman and she is armed to the teeth… so break it down…for those of us who want romance and an amazing female to be feminine… I don’t want more than that… I will deliver romance… I have more kisses on tap than I can count… so unleash them…unleash the man who wants to drape his arm across your naked body to hold you close at night…

    the challenge is yours..not always ours… the new breed of woman is more cut throat than you know…and this is coming from the king of pirates…I think i would know a bit about the subject…

    T.

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    1. I am not sure where are you going with the females not being lady-like or I guess I am confused with your definition of the term.. if being lady-like and feminine means shutting up and looking pretty, then yeah you can call me manly.. otherwise, I simply disagree.. I have heard this argument before and I don’t get it… I remember one time when I was pretty much shocked when meeting a guy, the kept profusely apologizing for being late (despite the fact that he was there doing me a favor, helping me with something) and even hurried in front of me to open the door of the cafe. To my further amazement he said that girls nowadays get offended if a guy does that or if he offers to pay. I have never met any such girls.. maybe I hang out in the wrong circles. In any case, to put things in context, the point of the post was to point out that in my crazy MBA life where testosterone ruled the rules of attraction, I have forgotten the world I once knew of innocent courtship and sweet gestures. Thanks for visiting anyways!

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      1. I still am a huge fan of simple and sweet gestures…romance is not dead…I would agree that it is dying…but there are some of us where we want more romance in our daily lives….oh to have the inspiration….the amazing females that bring us to the point of wanting to serve their needs in that manner…

        Inspiration… it’s a key word here… you are inspired to want romance, I am inspired to give it… that’s still going back to those simple times you mentioned where boy meets girl, likes girl and she does the same…simple…loving…

        Yet the reality is that we’re in a civilization that seems to be folding onto itself…while you have dreamers such as you and I caught in the middle…

        T.

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