Recently, I have increasingly been getting questions about my future plans. My landlords wrote to ask if I am planning to stay in my apartment. My mother informed me of new companies moving to their town and offering good opportunities for me to consider. My grandfather was asking me what are my future goals – Do I want to stay a manager, do I want to become a CEO of a company? Do I want to have my own company? My little brother was expressing opinions about my marriage prospects and how he and EVERYONE are worried (?!?!!). And about hundred others asked how long do I intend to stay in Brazil and where will I move next?
The answer is that I have no idea. I have created a magical world around me in this crazy country. I have more than everything to be grateful for. I live in a place where winter does not exist. I have an excellent group of friends locally – they are funny, smart, fun, supportive, open-minded and loving (you know who you are). I also have a spread out network of similar individuals who have been visiting me constantly and sharing their time with me. I have been meeting a slew of interesting,weird, creative, different types of people that have exposed me to crazy and innovative ideas and experiences. I cannot sleep properly most of the time, nor sit quietly for more than 5 minutes, because my head is so full of ideas and I cannot make my mind stop running. I am always running somewhere and doing something. I have my sad moments and difficult times, but those never last very long because the next good thing happens, and there is no time to mop around. Finally, I already feel at home here. I speak the language and I get the culture, and how to navigate within the local chaos and irrationality.
Getting to this point has not been easy at all and required a lot of will power and effort. So when I have to think about leaving it all behind and starting all over again. Where would I even go? I just block this train of thought completely. Plus – how can I think about trading happiness for a promise of happiness? Now, that’s crazy.
Maybe it’s something related to the excellent points brought up in What Happens When You Live Abroad?