Inspired by my previous post, I decided to write a dysfunctional one!
1. Be Reactive – respond emotionally to every stimuli that you may face. The boss annoyed you? Curse his mother and personal organs. A colleague did not deliver on time? Start crying and stomping your foot! You computer got stuck? open the office window and throw it out!
2. Have no end in mind – life is an exciting journey in the galaxy. Start a new activity every 10 minutes, especially if someone else recommends it. If you have a dead-end job, make sure to keep it. Steady job is all that matters. Play the lottery every day and make sure to go to church. One of the above will certainly get you to eternal success and happiness.
3. Put nothing first – the rush is from the devil and prioritization requires too many neurons. Jump in that boat, and let the destiny sway you in the right direction. You may start sinking, but don’t worry, the little sea horses will come to your rescue. Low priority and low importance stuff are the epicenter of popular culture. Don’t get left out of the masses! Who needs sleep anyways? Bags under your eyes make you look more mature and wiser.
4. Think win/lose – people are out there to screw you over. Always make sure that you are extracting as much as possible from your environment: cut in line, never apologize, find out dirty information about your enemies and tell everyone, don’t get up for grandmas on the public transport, buy things and use them without removing the price tag and then return them to the store, steal your colleagues work and put your name on it – the options are just endless!
5. Seek first to talk and then force others to agree – people talk too much, make sure they keep quiet while they listen to your stories and agree how interesting they are and how great you did. Make sure to ignore any sort of irrelevant input or personal problems they may try to add in in order to occupy your time.
6. Energize – save your energy by focusing on your side of the story. The outside world is way too confusing and inside the box it’s nice, cosy and predictable. Don’t let other opinions and options sway you from thinking on your own objectives.
7. Store the saw in the shed – paying attention to all the things above may get tiring. Then perhaps, take a break and jump to the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People