The Blue Marie Antoinette

French(?) style cafe in a smaller town. I am reading another one of Murakami’s books (670 pages of melancholy so far). Marisa Monte is singing her touching song about longing – Ainda Bem. I’m already feeling strange and mostly lonely so this isn’t really helpful. Or maybe it is. Grandma always used to say that crying is healthy. It washes the eye ducts. Thinking about her while writing this makes me want to cry as well. Only later in life one comes to understand how much this dominant family figure helped shaping one’s current self.

I’m stuck in this melancholic mode and tears start dropping down my cheeks. But then an extremely flamboyant middle aged gay couple comes in and sits next to me. They remind me of the “Bird’s Cage”. I don’t even remember what that movie was about (I never do). I just remember that it made me laugh. Suddenly I feel my tears disappear and I start feeling better again.

Story of my life. Constant ups and downs but an overall upward trending line.


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