Today was the best day of my gym history because as a result of Carnaval festivities, only ugly, fat and old people showed up. I felt so skinny and attractive as I was hopping at ease on the elliptical machine with David Guetta music on my ipod and the middle aged chubby woman on the machine next to me huffing and puffing in agony. This is what gym should be all about. I felt so inspired that I stayed 15 mins longer than usual to use the weight lifting machines I haven’t used pretty much since I was in college.. Definitely going to go tomorrow.
Carnaval itself so far proved itself to be a major FAIL (as my friends from the west coast love to say). The city is overcrowded with various tourists and visitors from the suburbs (as most cariocas escaped to nicer and cleaner places). Everyone is drunk on the can-littered streets. My friend, who is the carnaval grinch, was hating every second of the blocos we tried to go to, and so we decided to avoid them and hang out around town instead. The issue is that it’s hard to do anything in this town in this period of time so we headed over to the beach in Leblon which was full of ugly fat people trying to look smart and sophisticated with their sweaty tatoos and tight bikinis. Being the snow-white that I am, I could only stay for so little and so I sent greenchy to the beach on her own today and am headed to see Sargento Pimento, a Beatles themed bloco. Results to be reported!